We wear many hats!
Wife, mother, employer, and friend. Gardener, homemaker, cook, and maid. Spouse and lover. Mentor, teacher, and support person. You play several roles in the course of a day, and if you think one of these roles is your purpose, then you are mistaken! Even if it’s the most important thing you are doing in your life.
What happens when the role is gone?
There are lots of ways the roles you play change; actually roles change often. Sometimes your role gets yanked out from under you like when you get fired from a job. Your role shifts when your children grow up and move out of the house. You might get married… or divorced.
It’s very common to think that your role is your purpose. Perhaps it brings you great satisfaction, like with motherhood. Being a mother (or father) is very rewarding. While playing this role, we are doing a great service; we are contributing to the world in a very significant way. We might sacrifice a big part of ourselves while playing this role.
It’s significant, so don’t take this wrong when I say, “Being a mother is not your purpose.”
It’s the same with a job. Your job is not your purpose.
Thinking your role is your purpose can lead to depression.
Have you noticed what happens when someone loses a role they love? If they’ve identified their role as their purpose, they become depressed when the role is gone.
What do all these situations have in common?
- The person who commits suicide when they lose their job of 25 years.
- The person who can no longer function when their last child leaves home.
- The person who simply must be married, so she remarries the first person she meets after her fifth divorce.
These people believe, on some level, that their role is who they are. They falsly believe that their role is their purpose in life. When the role is gone, they lose all sense of purpose.
Look under the role to find purpose.
What is it about the role you play that turns you on? What is it that lights you up and makes you want to do more of it?
- Being a mother gives me an opportunity to teach, motivate, and empower.
- The job you have as a nurse gives you a chance to teach, motivate, and empower.
- As a wife, you get to teach, motivate, and empower.
Your Life Purpose can be expressed in a hundred ways; in a hundred roles. Your job is to express your Life Purpose into all areas of your life, so that when one of the roles change you can roll with it.
Your Life Purpose is the thread that runs through your life. It’s the ‘thing’ you find yourself doing without thinking. The result of teaching, motivating, and empowering (or whatever it is for you) is your contribution.
When you have a deep awareness of exactly what your Life Purpose is, then you can allow it to permeate your being as the living entity it is.
If you know what your Life Purpose is, then when the role changes you will change with it. You will find new ways to bring meaning into your life. It may not always be easy, but that’s another myth!
Michelle, a number one mom, knows that being a mom is not her purpose!
Michelle has been twittering (@DivinePurposeMV) about Life Purpose and roles. She’s also been yacking about it on Facebook (go be her friend and join the conversation). When she started in on me about roles, I reminded her about our Myths Report. One of the most common myths that people use for not living their Life Purpose is that:
Your Life Purpose is being a mother (or other role you play).
Download the Report: 7 Myths, 8 Lies, and 35 Excuses People Use For NOT Living Their Life Purpose. Sign up here to get your free copy.
Written by CK Reyes - Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact Leila using the tab above.
Divine Purpose Unleashed, Live Your Life Purpose is a division of Divine Purpose Unleashed, LLC. co founded by Michelle Vandepas and CK Reyes. Divine Purpose Unleashed works with Professionals, Therapists Coaches and other service professionals to Unveil their Divine Life Purpose, Unleash their Contribution to the world and Manifest their Conscious Livelihood®. No matter where you are in your journey, the DPU staff of coaches and professionals will guide you to live your purpose with clarity and align your your authentic expression with your marketing efforts. For more information about how you can work with us, please click on the 
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Great points here. I think any role that someone else can end at any point (sadly including a spouse or child as well) is also another way to realize it is not a purpose. It must be something from your soul and something that brings about your roles. Great thoughts here, really enjoyed the article!
Love it! So often people come to me to know their Soul’s purpose and what they really want is a job description!
In the end, every Soul’s purpose is authentic self-expression of our Divinity into this third-dimensional experience … and we get to play and choose what that will look like, exactly!
Blessings,
Andrea
Mike – I so agree, when we think our spouse is our ‘purpose’ and it ends, … oh boy oh boy… but of course we will bring our loving spirit and gifts into our marriage! Thanks for coming by.
Andrea. – I had to laugh. I have a speech I give where I say that I just wanted God to give me my job description. NOW! Please NOW. Tell me which company to go apply at and I’d be there.
Purpose is so much more complicated – and simple! at the same time.
Dear Michelle and CK -
This is the most clear explanation of your teaching on finding your life purpose. Congratulations.
Although you talk about “Mommys,” men should read this. Their identity is so indelibly rooted in their careers that they do not know who they are if they retire – or even lose their jobs.
Although women suffer from the empty nest syndrome, we adjust a lot faster. I was very sad when my first son went to college. Could hardly look into his room. Then he came home for vacation and although I was so happy to see him, I hated the mess!
By the way, you look beautiful in this video, Michelle.
CK,
I love visiting your blog because you share great advice in such a clear way.
Life purpose is a huge topic (well, for me anyway) because I think so many people are coasting through life now knowing what their purpose is, or that such a thing even exists.
…and you’re right on the mark when you say we often think our role is our purpose. I’ve certainly felt this way in my life – thankfully I’m beyond it now. It can be devastating when we attach ourselves to the roles we play out in life.
Here’s another thought…is it possible that people who don’t know who they are are further away from discovering their purpose?
Thanks for the brain food today CK!
Corinne, I totally think men can relate to this… Just replace the word mommy with the job title. The MOMMY MYTH is interchangeable with any role we play. Devastating results can happen when losing a job… when so much of ourselves is tied up in what we do, when we don’t do it any longer we can become lost. If this happens, get some help…. Find your purpose.
Miki, We just started a Life Purpose discussion over on facebook. Have you joined in already? In response to your question, in my own situation it certainly took a lot of digging and then allowing for me to discover my purpose. The more we do know ourselves, the easier it is to know why we are here… There’s isn’t so much trying to ‘figure it out’ when we know ourselves. Choices are easier too!
Miki, I just sent you an invite to the Life Purpose Discussion on Facebook! Thanks for being my friend on Facebook!
Like this post… I was re-listening to Elizabeth Lessor talk about Roles from the Tolle-Oprah series. We do get locked into roles and it’s important not to get caught up. Our true spirit is independent of our perceived roles in life…
Cheers! Great Site!
Kevin
Kevin, in exploring our purpose (and teaching about it), I ask tons of questions… What is your true spirit? How do you keep clear of the draw to identify with a role? or if you do, then how is that for you?
I was going to disagree with you until I read this part:
“The person who can no longer function when their last child leaves home.”
Put that way, I can certainly see your point. I personally define myself as first, an extraordinary individual who changes the world for the better…and next, as a wife, mom, educator, entrepreneur, parakeet wranger, moose trainer and the like.
Excellent article, stumbled! Barbara
Yes! Exactly. You’re here, as the extraordinary individual, who changes the world for the better…. You do that everyday just by being a wife, mom, and moose trainer. By the way, I have a moose that is very unruly–eating my petunias. Any suggestions?