Who Else Wants To Be Ruthless?
March 11, 2008
Not there yet!
Have you read East of Eden? Kate is the most ruthless person I could ever imagine. And I hate it. I hate her. She used her ruthlessness to hurt people and hurt people and hurt people. I would never do anything even close to what Steinbeck created in this classic novel. This is, as I have mentioned before, my darkest shadow. I feel scared sharing this publicly, because you might think I am like her. I have never met anyone like her in real life, but in my heart I know I am her. In avoiding any similarity to her persona, I have held myself back from what I can create in this world.
I have been viewing ruthless as a destructive quality. I have been judging ruthless as bad, and indeed ruthless can be very hurtful. Hitler was ruthless.
I am now in a space of exploring how ruthless can be constructive and used for the benefit of humanity. And how ruthless can be used in the living your life’s purpose.
If I can get this, I can use my ruthlessness to make positive changes in the world. I could use ruthless to end self-abuse. I get this is to our benefit for me to embrace this disowned quality in myself. To use ruthless responsibly and consciously–not out of fear and protection. Or projection!
In order for me to embrace ruthless, I need to know that ruthless is a positive quality. Help me see this more clearly:
- Who do you know that is expressing ruthless constructively. This could be yourself, someone you know, or someone you know of. Maybe a political figure or someone from history (not the books okay?), or a celebrity…
- How can ruthless be used constructively? To create. To empower. To manifest peace.
- How have you been ruthless? The shadow side and the light side?
I don’t want to hurt anyone and being ruthless, even for the benefit of our planet, maybe I will. I don’t want the fear of hurting someone to hold me back from embracing this quality because on some level I know that my ruthlessness is needed. On some level I get that embracing ruthless will add to me and empower me to demand the changes in the world that will bring us into expressing the wholeness that we are.
Part I of this post about Being Ruthless
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
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I can feel the pain in your writing, the longing for someont to tell you that you’re ok, and all is well. And it is.
Ruthless is only a word that you have attached great meaning to, you don’t like it, you don’t want it and therefore you fear it.
Nothing programmes the mind more efficiently than fear, and nothing causes you to vibrate at a lower vibration than fear. Those who also vibrate on the fear frequency feed from your fear, you will be surrounded by people who literally, couldn’t live without you.
The anti-dote to fear is love, and only love.
Until you decide that whatever you do, whatever you feel and however you have been emotionally programmed to feel is fine with you, and realise that when you know better, then you’ll do better, and until you choose to stop hating yourself, you will react from pre-programmed emotions that you haven’t chosen.
There is absolutely no need for you to accept or reject anything about yourself, you are perfect. You always have been and you always will be, and anyone who tells you differently doesn’t understand the laws of the universe.
Using words and allotting them as good or bad is judgemental, move away from judgement if you choose to be calm and peaceful in your being.
When I say the word ‘ruthless’ it feels very vibrationally low. Remove it from your vocabulary, and you will no longer entrain with it’s vibration. We are all just decoders of the vibrations around us, and high vibrations always move out the low ones, it is a law of physics. Find high vibrations with which to entrain. Learn to love yourself.
I promise you that once you are fully in love with yourself , then all these worries about what you are or are not will fade away, and your mind will be at peace.
I just left a comment to someone about accepting their shadow side. I have recently worked on doing this for myself. Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth and the class that has come from it with Oprah is helping me to look at myself differently.
Maybe you need to use another word for ruthless if you can’t take away the negativity. I like to call it being focused. I am using my blog to focus on wiping out incest and all forms of sexual abuse and child abuse by putting out information and sharing personal stories with whoever finds my blog so that not many more generations have to suffer from the abuse that I did. My goal is to offer hope and courage to other survivors. Some might call me ruthless in doing this. I call it having focus. I call it having the courage to speak out against abuse in all forms. You can also call it persistence.
I have learned that ignoring our shadow selves don’t make them go away or grow up or any of the other things that we want them to do. Sometimes, acknowledgment is all they want. Love all of yourself, Shadow and all.
Patricia
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..Ego-centered selfishness vs. Spirit-centered Selfishness
I agree with much of what you say. We have received programming to hate ourselves leading us to become blind to all of who we are–the divinity of our being.
I do not see ruthless as a low vibration. It is part of me. And part of you. If we simply remove the word from our vocabulary, the programming doesn’t go away. The programming says ‘ruthless’ is bad. I am in the process of integrating the ‘ruthless’ part of me so that when I need to use ‘ruthless’ it is there–consciously. So that it doesn’t sneak out of me sideways and unconsciously hurt someone or sabotage the life I am creating.
I agree that love is the answer. Self-love of ALL of who we are. Yes, without judgment. We just are. But when something happens and we are faced with a part of us that we have pushed away and that we have tried to ignore or pretend wasn’t there, we are asking for trouble unless we can bring awareness to the shadow.
When we can see ‘ruthless’ in others, but not in ourselves, this is information from the universe inviting us to love ourselves. It’s easy to love the part of me that is nice, or supportive, or compassionate. My call to all of us is: How can I love the rude part of me? or the mean part of me? or the ruthless part of me. My call is to bring people (including myself) to an integrated whole. To love the totality of who I am, not just the parts that are acceptable to others. To love the totality of who you are, not just the parts that you show the world.
Debbie Ford says in her newest book, “Why Good People do Bad Things,” that we need our light and dark to be whole and when we “repress the dark side of ourselves, we are only inviting it to manifest itself in unhealthy ways.”
I have repressed ‘ruthless’ for a very long time, only becoming aware of it recently. When we repress our shadow it shows up in our lives unconsciously and when we bring awareness to the shadow, we can use the quality within us for much good in the world–consciously! So, it is the judgment of ruthless that needs to be dealt with. My position that ruthless is bad and all the ways I have tried to avoid being ruthless so I wouldn’t hurt anyone. Well, unconsciously I hurt people in my life. Unconsciously ruthless. I want to use ruthless to build a school in Uganda or to bring peace to the hearts of women. Ruthless is beginning to mean that I don’t give up. That I ask for what I want and that stand up for the underdog.
Patricia,
I don’t want to take away the negativity. I want to embrace my ruthless side. It’s not negative. I only feel the negativity of it when I exclaim, “I am NOT that.” I believe that the shadow side that we are compelled to push away is what precipitates much abuse. If I can’t be with ‘ruthless’ then I hide that part of me. Hiding my shadow creates abuse. Hiding the part of me that is ‘ruthless’ creates abuse. When I can embrace ruthless and use it consciously, it is exactly the ruthless part of who I am that stops abuse. Being able to come to terms with the part of me that is ‘ruthless’ is the only way to end abuse. Don’t call it focused. Don’t call it persistence. Call it Ruthless!
CK, thank you, mam, I stand corrected.
Patricia
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..What Is God?