What Everybody Ought to Know About Self-Esteem
May 7, 2008
Your high Self-Esteem is the ticket to creating a life that you love.
But self-esteem doesn’t just happen. It takes an awareness of your internal conversations and belief systems. It takes a willingness to listen to the part of you that knows you are a divine being and worthy of having it all.
As I coach more and more people, I am finding that it is very common to uncover a belief system or self-judgment that says, “I am unworthy!” “I am wrong,” “I am unlovable,” etc. Many people ’should’ on themselves. Like, “I should do xyz,” or “I shouldn’t do abc.” We compare ourselves and feel less than and inadequate. The result seems to be that we are left with a self-hate and an innate ability to self-sabotage the very efforts that would leave us feeling great about who we are.
I’ve done it too!
I am currently engaged in a coaching process where I have uncovered an old belief that I am unworthy. Imagine that! Me? Yes. Where do our beliefs originate and how do they manifest in our lives? Mine originated at a very young age and manifested in the absolute knowing that I would be abandoned. Left alone. I get all kinds of opportunities to experience my shame. Today I know that this is an outdated belief and I choose another interpretation. The awareness of the origination of our beliefs is what allows us to choose a more empowering belief. It takes a lot of courage to give up what we have known about ourselves and discover new ways of being.
What is self-esteem?
Self-Esteem is a sense of worthiness to have what you want and to go after it. When you have high self-esteem, you are more willing to set and keep boundaries, to ask what you want, and to expect the very best for yourself because you know you are worth it. When you feel good about who you are, you are more likely to take the actions that are necessary to live your dreams.
How do I raise my self-esteem?
Make every effort to feel good about who you are and what you are up to in the world. I challenge you to take on some behaviors right away. Notice the changes in your internal world and then share with me what you find.
- Give up comparing yourself to others.
- Examine your beliefs and perspectives about yourself.
- Resist the temptation to “should” on yourself.
- Do not make any excuses for anything. Take responsibility for your choices.
- Give up blaming others and, yes, yourself too!
- Give yourself permission to live your life purpose. Today!
If you choose to engage with yourself in this empowering way, notice what comes up for you. Notice the internal conversations and the external manifestations. What obstacles have prevented you from embracing all of who you are and pursuing the experiences in this life that would leave you blissfully in love with yourself and your circumstances? What has been standing between you and your life purpose.
I am very interested where you are on this path of cultivating self-esteem. Please share! and if you are very brave ask me to coach you into higher self-esteem right here on-line. Feel scared? Good!
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
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Hello CK! Low self-esteem is definately the broader category of why I feel “stuck” in my personal and professional lives.. The “critical mind” operates within me in such a way that it provides a “bombardment” of reasons/excuses for avoiding to take any chances !!! Mostly working hard to convince me that any decision or risk could seriously backfire - causing me much regret later on… I more than not succumb to this fear based rationale. I believe my low self-esteem causes me not to take chances (risk), and to incessantly second guess myself! I truly do desire to create a higher self-esteem –to be able to trust more in my decision making… This is an excellent place for me to start with your course I feel! Thanks again! Gary
Gary,
your comment inspires me to write about fear vs. faith….
I will do that now!
I believe self esteem comes from within. As soon we let go of the lie that it comes from other people, places or circumstances, we’re in a position to raise our own self esteem anytime we want. Powerful, huh?
For instance, I did a speech in Las Vegas. I was up on stage, feeling very much in sync with the audience. They seemed to be connecting to me and the words flowed easily and effortlessly. I smiled and laughed easily. No trace of nervousness or fatigue.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t get a standing ovation in the end (that’s not why I’m there), it didn’t matter that the people didn’t mob me for an autograph at the end (again, not there for that reason). After it was over, I asked myself, “How did you think you did?” Asking myself that question is like walking on a minefield b/c I tend to be harsh on myself. However, I answered myself by saying, “I felt GREAT. It felt very good.”
What happened right there was I raised my own self esteem b/c I went and did something. It’s in the DOING that we raise our self esteem.
Great article!
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