What Everybody Ought to Know About Being Ruthless
March 6, 2008
A ruthless person:
- is cold-hearted (or doesn’t have a heart)
- is out for him or herself
- doesn’t care about anyone
I hear myself screaming inside, “I’m NOT THAT!”
None of my friends would consider me ruthless. If someone called me ruthless I would cry, die, hide… Killers are ruthless. I just found out that my business partner is ruthless!
Ruthless is my biggest shame. The universe is providing me an intense opportunity for healing. It is painful. I want to hide under a rock. And at the same time, I am so grateful. Thank you, GOD! I am grateful that I can see the possibility in my willingness to look at the gifts that ruthless has to offer.
The shadow work that Debbie Ford teaches reminds me that there is a gift that ruthless has for me. I don’t know what it is yet, but source is compelling me to look, to remain open and willing to the possibility. I am starting to notice how I show up in the world when I push away ruthless. It’s not pretty! I roll over. I play dead. I give myself away. I minimize my contribution, my ability, and my connection to the Divine. Source has come through me for the greater good of the planet and I am willing to drop the ball. (I am also a coward.)
I don’t want to hurt anyone.
Ruthless is my darkest shadow…
I’m sharing my process with you to empower you to look at your own shadows. What is it that you don’t want to be? What is it that you push away? How could embracing that part of you empower you to live a more authentic life? How could the Divine come through you even more strongly? These are the questions I am asking myself.
What is the shadow you are ready to embrace? My next evolution is to embrace ruthless. My ego screams at me, “What possible good could come from that?”
What if being ruthless was about not giving up? What if ruthless means that my heart is so big that I will lay down my life for the greater good of our planet? What if it means that I am here to protect the weak and vulnerable? What if it means that when I embrace ruthless, I will demand that we collectively take responsibility for the condition of our planet? For each other? What if being ruthless means that nothing could waver my commitment to being used by source to empower, connect, and serve the collective? What if my being ruthless ends abuse? Then I would have to ask myself:
Who am I not to be ruthless?
Please share your comments and the gifts that you have found in your shadow. Just don’t call me ruthless, I am not quite ready for that yet.
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
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Dear CK -
Margaret Mead once said that we all have the capacity to inflict of the cruelty of the Holocaust.
So, why would we be surprised to discover our own “ruthlessness?” Or, others?
After all, we are human. We are here to learn, to discover - and to forgive ourselves (the hardest part) and others.
You sound like you are accepting your partner fully.
Congratulations!
CK,
You consider me ruthless….. I don’t take offense because I understand that isn’t my shadow. I am pragmatic, and responsible for my decisions…. - and often that looks like I don’t care about another. Not true, - but I’m not responsible for how others act or react, only myself…… I love that you can look me in the eyes and tell me I’m ruthless as you did today. It moves the energy for both of us! It is so wonderful to have you in my life.
Thank you!
P.S. You are ruthless too!
Michelle Vandepas’s last blog post..By: Aloycia
I read from Changes That Heal from Dr. Henry Cloud that when someone is comfortable being alone, he can do something great.
Joyce Meyer said “Eagle flies alone, birds fly in flock”
I think many time, time to be ruthless / alone, is time of preparation for greater good, is time to replenish our energy/love, but the goal must end with others, we eventually want to love/help others.
Good msg,
Robert
Robert @ reason4smile’s last blog post..Dating introvert: Eight ways to become an attractive woman
My guess is that embracing ruthlessness will bring you discernment and flexibility. I look forward to hearing.
My shadow: Stalin. Devoid of feeling, a beaurecratic and soulless manipulator. And when I embrace my shadow: compassionate and effective action.
Hi CK,
Thanks for pointing out the other side of the coin of ruthless.
I am proud to say that I am ruthless.
Raymond Chua’s last blog post..The Contradiction to The Law of Attraction
I loved your article. We all need to examine ourselves first before we judge someone else. There is so much hate in this world. A ruthless attitude is based on hate. Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if we would let our hate go and do everything out of love.
I enjoyed it.
LaRene
We are all capable of being merciless and cruel. We’re human, and that’s a part of being human.
I know I’m capable of being ruthless. I don’t like it but I have been angry enough from time to time to act ruthlessly.
Now when I feel like this I ask myself the question: “What would love do now?”. This question is from the book “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh. When I answer that question honestly, I find my ruthlessness fade and my compassion shine through.
All I seek is to be a better me, including all the bad with the good. Then I work to improve the good parts of me and deal more effectively with the parts that I’m ashamed of.
Thanks for the article,
Sherri
Being the Change I Wish to See’s last blog post..Censorship = Thought Control
LaRene,
As much as I want to agree with you, I believe that freedom comes from being able to embrace our shadow. I am in that process right now and having a very difficult time with embracing ruthless. All I can see is that I am NOT THAT! I am searching for the gift in ‘ruthless.’ Digging and searching. And praying and allowing. And breathing. Help me… What might the gift of ruthless be? Where could it benefit us to be ruthless? What incredible light is available to me when I finally embrace this quality I disown in myself? All I know right now is that it is a really BIG gift.
I think it is discernment. Utter clarity devoid of even a hint of sentimentality.
In martial arts language: use one pound to move a thousand pounds.
Compassion looks for effective means.
This is the gift that ruthlessness contains in my experience. But I don’t mean it will necessarily be what you find, or that you would express it in the same way. I’m very much looking forward to hearing what you find expressed in your way. But I hope what I say can encourage you on the journey anyway.
Evan’s last blog post..A Website for Listening and Support
CK,
You are perfectly right that you need to embrace rudeness. It’s the only way you can ever learn to change it. Rudeness being a gift? You need to understand it first. Where does it come from? Why is it apart of you?
Rudeness demonstrates to the world that we are in pain. Usually, it is emotional pain and you end up pushing everyone away from you. There is no gift of rudeness. When you peel all of the layers away, it shows you really don’t love you. There are far more effective ways of getting a point across without being rude. People never listen to what you way, when you are rude. The mind on a unconscious bases will shut down and label the ill behavior to you and remember nothing else.
I do not see it as a gift. It just shows the person as being a unskilled communicator if they do it on purpose.
LaRene
Sherri, I don’t think that being angry is connected to ruthless. Although, I can see that ‘acting’ ruthless could be a byproduct of anger, but that is a different energy than what I am exploring. Ruthless as a result of anger, is a deep conversation for sure. That sounds like the reaction is a retaliation or a way to protect oneself from being hurt. I want to be clear that I am not trying to push ‘ruthless’ away. I want to call ruthless in to work with my compassion and to accept all of who I am without a hint of shame, blame, or excuses. It would be very easy for me to align with your words as I can definitely see how compassionate I am. Yes, I AM THAT! In my desire for integration, I ask again, what is the gift of being ruthless? I am having a difficult time taking the energy of “ruthless is bad” out of my experience. Ouch!
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