I listen to TED. It’s the only “news” I turn on. I was looking for some inspiration and surprised to have found it in a college graduation commencement speech!
Do you know Steve Jobs? You’ve likely heard of his name; he’s the Co-founder and CEO of Apple computer. So, even if you don’t know his name you see the marketing for his product everywhere. Tons of advertising money is funneled into selling his wares. Steve admitted right there on stage that he’s is Not a college graduate! That hit me between the eyes, but also helped me to put what’s been going on in my own home into perspective. I have to decide what the most important pieces of our life is. And I have to make decisions around my daughter’s education and sometimes I can get a little off kilter with my focus.
My twelve-year-old daughter has had some trouble in school lately. She was sick several days and was too tired to go to school. She was too tired because she accepted the part of Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol. A paid part! She knows what she wants to be when she grows up…. The cool thing is she’s not waiting until she grows up to do what she loves!
Listening to Steve Jobs speak at Stanford’s 2005 commencement address confirmed that I need to let my daughter follow her passion. You probably think that’s a no-brainer since I teach and preach passion and purpose, but I still get caught up in our societies mental conditioning. My daughter is at the age when it’s common for young girls (and perhaps boys) to give up on their dreams. This is the age where they submit to the rules and expectations of society. This is a pivotal point in her life–a choice point–where she can say yes to her dreams or let them slip through her fingers… all in the hope of going to college someday.
Here’s what Steve had to say to me in support of my daughter’s dream!
Steve’s advice is to follow your curiosity and intuition. My daughter loves to be on stage. She has a repertorie of voices and accents and can memorize the entire play. Did I say she’s twelve… The only difference between her being able to memorize her lines and the answers to her science exam is passion. She’s got it for the theater!
What’s a mom to do?
Okay, so it’s the law… she has to go to school! What’s a mom to do? Especially a mom teaching life purpose… coaxing the life purpose out of those who gave up their dreams years ago. Right… I have to encourage and empower her to go for her dreams. TODAY! She’s a professional… As soon as she makes enough money to hire her own teacher, she’s going to get one and then we can sleep ’till 10am.
Re-engage your passion!
It can be painful when you realize how much you let go of when you were younger. But, today is today! It’s the first day of the rest of your life. Will you take a leap of faith today and commit to a life of passion and purpose? Will you make a commitment to yourself to go for your dreams? Don’t waste another day of your life without your Life Purpose. Get the support and help you need so you’re not looking back on your life 5, 10, or 20 years from now (today) wishing you followed your heart. Will you please, for the sake of humanity, share your spiritual gifts and step in with both feet. Today! TODAY!
Written by CK Reyes - Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact Leila using the tab above.
Divine Purpose Unleashed, Live Your Life Purpose is a division of Divine Purpose Unleashed, LLC. co founded by Michelle Vandepas and CK Reyes. Divine Purpose Unleashed works with Professionals, Therapists Coaches and other service professionals to Unveil their Divine Life Purpose, Unleash their Contribution to the world and Manifest their Conscious Livelihood®. No matter where you are in your journey, the DPU staff of coaches and professionals will guide you to live your purpose with clarity and align your your authentic expression with your marketing efforts. For more information about how you can work with us, please click on the 
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi CK,
I congradulate you big time.
Tis an art of navigation to stay engaged with your child, supporting their giftedness while holding the line of what is expected of us. Both as the student/child and as the parent/adult; we find ways to maintain our integrity as we deal with our roles in society and the expectations that are with them.
Bravo!!
.-= Susan Blue´s last blog ..Hello world! =-.
I can so relate to your dilemna. As a homeschooler, I’ve encouraged my children to study what they want as well as complete the requirements. My daughter was easy, but with my son it is a frequent challenge to get him to complete the requirements he doesn’t like. I want him to be done with HS so he can pursue as his heart guides him 100%. But, as you say, there are the basic requirements. So I encourage both.
We do the best we can and I’m sure that since we do encourage them to follow their hearts, that they will. And being reminded of this by them is so important.
I remember when I was very young, at about 5 years, having a spontaneous but heart felt awareness of what I wanted to do. I wanted to create/discover a new energy that would help the world. Life happened and I pretty much forgot that memory until recently. Now I am doing it, step by step, helping people to Self-realize by understanding God’s Love. When I was 5 I had no idea that this was what I meant, but it is what is meant to be. The heart cannot lie. So following our passions and purpose are always of the Divine.
I agree with you CK. We must listen to the children. Let their hearts remind us of our own.
Blessings,
Irene
.-= Irene´s last blog ..God’s Love Invites a Partnership with Him =-.
Irene,
It’s interesting (but not surprising) that, even at such a young age, you knew exactly what you wanted to do. That’s how it works, I think. While the specific way it is expressed may change, I feel the heart of it–the core theme; the essence–remains the same.
While I have no experience with children myself, I feel that just by “holing the space” for them to follow their heart and being an example of that yourself would make such a difference in your kid’s lives.
I see and hear from so many forward-thinking, very conscious parents. It makes me so hopeful–excited–for what those kids are going to be like when they grow up. I so look forward to seeing what they do with the world when they get out there and do their stuff.
The very cool thing is, the moment they’re born, they’re already doing their stuff (which is true of everyone, but I feel the newer generations are especially like that these days; they come with a very specific intent and with many things to teach).
Keep being you.
– Bruce
.-= Bruce Achterberg´s last blog ..bruceachterberg: That quote was shared by @ChisCade. I like Chris’s tweets—I find them uplifting; soothing almost. Chris is a nice guy, too. =-.
Thanks for sharing your experience. As a parent, I’m constantly trying to remind myself that my children have their own journeys and that sometimes the most important thing that I can do is to get out of their way.
I applaud you for honoring your daughter’s journey, even though it might create some discomfort for you. It’s a tough balancing act. However, it sounds like your daughter is very lucky to have a mother who is absolutely committee to letting her children follow their own paths.
.-= Trish Johnston´s last blog ..Free to be you and me, bitches =-.
Hi CK,
Thanks for sharing this. As I was reading I recalled the story of Jesus in the New Testament when at age 12 he taught in the temple shile his parents were in a panic to find him. When they did his words to his mother (after she questioed him) were “wist you not that I must be about my Father’s business?” Jesus new at age twelve what he would do but the story also tells us something about his mother as well. We are told that Mary “kept all these sayings in her heart.” She new too and while she remained his mother and caretaker she accepted that her son already new what path he would floow in life.
I have 4 children all of whom were so unique and wonderful I soon came to the realization that all I could do was be a spectator in their own adventure and wow has that been a wonderful experience for me. Like Mary, I have stood by and watched their lives unfold and my heart has grown as they have grown. Children know at birth what their business in life will be. They are all gods and have joined the human family. We as parents should rejoice that we can watch so closely these wonderful spiritual beings having their own human experience. Thanks, again!
.-= Carl´s last blog ..Jan 15, Spiritual Guides – Spiritual Journey =-.
Thank you CK – this is the revolution that needs to occur in public education! Follow the talents and dreams that your wonderful daughter was already born with will be the key to her abundant success!
Love and Light!
Jeremy
Hi Leila -
Kids!
They do not follow your advice and it is hard to let that go.
Your daughter has walked to a different drummer for a while. (I remember when she shaved her head for charity)
I have a son who, after he finished college became an Arthur Murray dance instructor. Just what a mother dreams of, right?
Then he grew his long, curly blonde hair to his waist and had a rock band in LA. Was pretty successful at that – even sold a song to a movie – but not a reliable income.
Now he is a vice president of a major wall street brokerage. Short hair and Armani suits.
You gotta have faith.
.-= Corinne Edwards´s last blog ..TRUST – and a manicurist =-.
PS
Re: dance instructor job
Sales does include a lot of socializing. He is a sought after partner with the ladies.
.-= Corinne Edwards´s last blog ..TRUST – and a manicurist =-.
Hi CK,
Wow! What a great reminder that education is not always a requirement of great success. Michael Dell dropped out of college in favor of entrepreneurism and Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard to start Microsoft, although both of them did finish high school. It sounds like you have given the issue a lot of thought, so I have a question for you. If your daughter is lucky enough to be in touch with her purpose, why not consider letting her take the alternative route and opt out of the conventional education system? There are many options available now.
I was a home school mom myself and with the packaged curriculum out there a motivated student can complete their requirements way ahead of schedule. It requires planning yes, but if your student is motivated to finish school early and can discipline themselves to devote 4 hours a day to study, she would have lots of free time to pursue her dream. As you have said, if she has the discipline to study lines, she has the discipline to study for school. Although 12 is early this could be an opportunity for you to turn what could be a ‘drop out’ into an early graduate with her career ontrack.
Our children are not ourselves and their dreams are not our dreams. One of my parental goals is to facilitate in the quest to achieve those dreams, not to impose my own goals, and definitely not to support societal values that do not serve the children’s long term happiness.
.-= Danette Stafford´s last blog ..New Lower Limits for Child Tax Credit =-.
Susan, for me it is more of a wake-up call… and a remembering of giving up the things that were important to me because of what someone else told me I should be doing… or what was good for me. Why wouldn’t we know what we want at twelve? Even if we don’t end up there, it is more empowering to encourage than discourage!
Irene, I’m glad you’re back on track… and saddened that I was ever derailed. I’m in awe that you can home school your children. I’ll need a tutor and my daughter will have to pay for it.
Trish, Trust me… it’s not easy!
Carl, thank you so much for that visual. It certainly helps me to remember to honor her path and do everything I can to get out of her way while at the same time teaching her the ‘basics.’
Jeremy, I so wish that the public schools supported creativity and uniqueness in our children… The revolution may need to come from the inside with parents supporting kids with the awareness that the sustainability of our planet needs the consciousness and creativity of our youth!
Corinne, what do they need to find their own way? I’m curious… because rebelling seems to be a part of it, but if there wasn’t anything to rebel against then maybe they would share themselves more fully at a younger age! PS: Aviana is growing her hair out for a paid performance in March.
Danette, I LOVE your idea. I’ve thought about it many times, but always end up with the knowing that I can’t do that! I don’t want to fight with her about homework or dedicate my time for her education. I am considering a home school co-op, but I need my space and time for me. Hopefully my being selfish with my time will serve her as well. I can support her in many ways, but that’s not one of them. Sometimes I feel sad about that, because I would like to do that… but I don’t want to!
.-= Leila (CK) Reyes´s last blog ..How To Do Great Work… =-.
Leila asks -
“Corinne, what do they need to find their own way? I’m curious… because rebelling seems to be a part of it, but if there wasn’t anything to rebel against then maybe they would share themselves more fully at a younger age! PS: Aviana is growing her hair out for a paid performance in March.”
Giving them some leeway – and then cutting off support in an important area to force them to conform to at least minimum standards.
For example, I was constantly sending money to my son when he had a rock band because the work was not consistant enough to support himself.
Finally, I said, “The bank is closed.” Pursue your music career but get a job. Any job.
He did. He found a job answering phones in an attorney’s office which specialized in discrimation. They did not object to the long hair.
Smart kid. He ended up managing the office and through that found a mentor at a wall street firm who offered him a job managing his a team of brokers. (Not as a broker – but he got his license on his own with no schooling)
He now has his own “team.”
You have to mean it when you set boundaries. It is hard.
.-= Corinne Edwards´s last blog ..TRUST – and a manicurist =-.
Corinne, Sounds like a smart Mom… not just a smart kid.
.-= Leila (CK) Reyes´s last blog ..How To Do Great Work… =-.
Thanks, Leila.
Sometimes.
Made a lot of mistakes but they survived me anyway.
I would not worry too much about that little girl. She’ll probably wind up being President.
.-= Corinne Edwards´s last blog ..HOW TO STOP WORRYING =-.
I love the advice. Something we need to remind ourselves of as we go about our lives in our little hamster cages, spinning in our wheels and seeming never to get anywhere fast.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Decluttering in Five Easy Steps =-.
Dawn, I’m so SICK of the hamster cage! I want to run free and wild!
.-= Leila (CK) Reyes´s last blog ..How To Do Great Work… =-.