Here’s A Quick Way To Reinvent Your Life
July 11, 2008 by CK Reyes
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If you haven’t listened, Karen Nowicki was interviewed on Live Your Purpose Radio a couple weeks ago. Karen is an Integrative Life-Coach, parent, and all-around loving human being. Karen has recently authored a lovely children’s story, Maddie Moonbeams Garden, which will come out in August. I had the honor of participating in some trainings with Karen and I just love her! I know you will too! I asked her to share her insights in taking responsibility for yourself and creating the life you want. Karen has been so kind as to offer my readers a complimentary coaching session. If, after reading her article, you are ready to reinvent your life contact her at her website at the end of the article; be sure to mention my name for the free session! Here is her article:
GUEST ARTICLE BY KAREN NOWICKI
IS IT TIME TO REINVENT YOUR LIFE?
It’s easy to overlook that our current situation in life is the result of the choices we’ve made in the past. Think about it, we don’t put on 20 pounds from just one indulgent dinner. Our marriages don’t fail overnight because of one nasty argument. Nor do we end up thousands of dollars in debt because of one extravagant purchase. We are where we are in life because of the choices we make on a daily basis.
Habits are formed based on the choices we make moment by moment, hour by hour, and day by day. Eventually, years go by and we find ourselves unhappy with our lot in life. Somehow we are perplexed by how we got here. We find ourselves saying things like, “What happened to me, I used to be so in shape?”, “Remember when we first met, we were really in love, what changed?”, “I never had to worry about money before, now that is all I do!”, “What is my life purpose anyway? Is this all there is?”
Reinventing your life begins the moment you declare that enough is enough. For some of us, we have some sort of wake-up call that shakes us out of autopilot and pops us back into consciousness. It may be a death of a close friend, an uncomfortable visit to the doctor, or we simply look in the mirror and realize it doesn’t have to be this way! However you land there, take the opportunity and run with it! It is a neon sign telling you that you deserve more.
Yes! This is me, you say, now what?
In all the years that I have studied, practiced and taught personal transformation techniques, I have found that there are 4 key elements to making monumental and lasting change. With the help of Brenda Paskett, another Integrative Coach Professional and dear friend, we have created an easy acronym for these 4 essential ingredients to living your heart’s desire.
The CORE love™ Model includes:
C= Consciousness
O=Openness
R=Responsibility
E=Expansion
The word core, as we all know, represents the central or most important part of something. You’ll notice too, that the word love is embedded in this model as well. Loving ourselves is critical throughout personal transformation because there may be some difficult adjustments as we break old habits and form new healthier ones. If you don’t feel very loving toward yourself right now, that’s ok. As you begin to focus on who you want to be instead of focusing on all the things you’ve done’ wrong, your love for yourself (and others) will strengthen in the process.
CONSCIOUSNESS-Wake up! I mean it. Start paying attention to the choices you make on a daily basis. Ask yourself, “Will this choice move me closer to the life I desire or will it keep me stuck in the past?”
OPENNESS – Give yourself permission to do things differently. Invite the kid in you to hold the steering wheel for awhile and breathe some fresh air into the stale parts of your soul. Ask yourself, “How would I treat myself if I were the most important person in the world?”
RESPONSIBILITY – While the kid in us needs to emerge and rekindle our joy and playful self, we must also take responsibility for our current situation and the choices we are about to make. We must step out of denial or blame and take decisive action towards self-fulfillment. Ask yourself, “How old am I right now emotionally? Is this the best “age” to tap into while making this choice?
EXPANSION – Share your unique contributions with the world – or at least the people around you. Ask yourself, “What have I always dreamed of doing?” “Who have I always wanted to be?” “What do I want to be remembered for?” Those seeds have been planted there for a reason. Find ways to expand or stretch your comfort zone and contribute to your friends and family in a positive way.
Let me know what you think of the CORE Love™ Model and how it applies to you. I’ve found that the more conversations I have around greatness and living my life’s purpose, the quicker my dreams come true. And, if you need additional support, come visit me at www.apeacefulintegration.com. Perhaps it is time to participate in the Reinvent Your Life tele-class or you may be ready for some personalized coaching.
Listen to the audio interview with Michelle and Karen on Live your Purpose Radio
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
View Michelle Vandepas's profile
I got hooked on the first sentence “It’s easy to overlook that our current situation in life is the result of the choices we’ve made in the past.”
Every time I make a conscious choice to lose weight, I am practicing CORE. And when I’m blaming my current situation on external issues (like work and work travel), I guess I’m not practicing CORE.
Cheryls last blog post..Ernie Zelinski is Writing a New Book
Hi Cheryl,
Thank you for your comment; it is thought provoking and something most of us can relate to. Losing weight is a conscious choice and does fit within the CORE Model. You mentioned too, that when we blame our current situation on external issues we aren’t practicing CORE. It happens though, doesn’t it? We set our sights on something we want and we work towards achieving it. Then, we hit a roadblock - like in your example with work and travel taking away from eating healthy and losing weight. We can expect these types of roadblocks to occur anytime we want to make a radical shift in our life. It is a natural part of transitioning from one state of being to the next.
We want to be careful, however, with what we label “external”. Our current reality has been created through the choices we have made in the past.So, even something like work or work travel is not outside of being a by-product of our previous choices.
If we say that work and travel are external, then that would suggest that we have no control over ourselves in either of those environments. But the reality is that we do have control, don’t we? Instead, it is a matter of, as you said, whether or not we practice CORE.
Roadblocks can hit us right between the eyes and it often feels out of our control. This past week, for example, I had a work deadline to meet and instead, our family came down with a nasty case of the flu. For six days, all five of us have felt pathetic and puny. I made it to my office only two times – just long enough to see the emails piling up waiting for my attention and reminding me of my commitments. At times, I wanted to scream, “I can’t take it anymore!” and other moments, I had to literally lay still and rest. Now, that we are on the road to mend, not only has the emailed piled up but the house is a wreck, bills need to be paid, and life activities need to resume.
In this time of sickness and recovery I am aware of two things that fit perfectly into this conversation. The first thing is that while I could say that this virus just showed up and consumed our lives for a week. The truth is that I remember not wiping my 1 year old’s hands when we left the play center at the mall a day before he got sick (Not to mention even choosing to go there in the first place!). Not only that, when he started having symptoms, I still let him poke his fingers in my mouth and didn’t wash my hands after feeding him. This illness then, is a by-product of my previous choices.
Secondly, if I allow myself to be consumed by how far behind I’ve fallen in all my “doings”, I will stay stuck in my story, believing that my life can never move beyond drama such as this. But, if I recommit to using the CORE techniques and questions, I can realign my actions and behaviors with who I know myself to be – at my highest and best, and very quickly my outside world will begin to reflect that (again).
Whew. That is quite possibly more than you would ask for in a brief response to my original blog. But hey, I’ve been away from work for a week and had to recharge somehow! Thanks for indulging.
I took a look at your blog and love it, by the way. I am looking forward to more of your posts on retirement and will raise a glass to you 9 months from now!
Namaste,
Karen
Thank you, Karen, your response is more than I could have ever hoped for. I’m sorry you and your family have been sick with the flu all week!
Thanks for taking the time to look at my blog. It’s a labor of love these days.
It’s true, I chose this line of work and I chose the promotions and I continue to choose to show up (at least for the next 9 months).
I’m also choosing to go to my dental appt. tomorrow afternoon rather than canceling it to attend yet another after hours meeting. If my attendance is required it will need to be rescheduled.
I appreciate your message that the choices we make create just about everything that happens in our lives.
I have to hold out that 2% or so of chance, though. I think some things really are out of our control. (like, as a terrible example, the planes hitting the World Trade Center)
Cheryl
Cheryls last blog post..Ernie Zelinski is Writing a New Book
Cheryl and Karen,
I want to chime in on the 2% out of control piece as this is something that I often meditate and wonder about. Is it a collective consciousness that causes disasters as the metaphysicians would have us believe, or the wrath of G-D or just bad luck? I’m not sure that it matters that we know WHY these things happen so much, but that we do whatever we can to still experience the now without expectation of outcome during a time like that.
I’m headed to China in a month - most people in China are in survival mode and in a totally different cultural experience of taking responsibility for their actions - mostly they just need to feed their families.
How does this system of CORE work for those who have little control of their lives…?
Just exploring questions I wrestle with everyday.
Hello Michelle and Cheryl,
There is a little magnet on my fridge that reads:
peace.
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noices, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart.
Where ever we are in this vast world, we still have the choice as to whether we are guided by our inner voice or ‘external’ circumstances.
The CORE Model speaks to our state of Beingness.
In this moment, who am I choosing to be?
What would our world be like if we individually embraced the divine spirit within ourselves?
Hello again,
The teacher in me needs to correct my spelling in the last post.
“noices” should read: noise….
peace.
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart.
Michelle,
Thanks for the invite to post a photo with comments. Gravatar was quick and easy. You are a great host!
Awesome post. This article really hit home with me! I like the CORE Model — it’s a great concept.
Read Jennas last blog post..Doing Drugs…Is it All in Your Head?
Thanks Jenna. I appreciate you taking the time to share in our conversation and offer your reaction to the CORE Model. Was there anything specific that got you thinking in a new way?