Here’s A Quick Way To Live Your Life Purpose

We are projectors.Take Back Your Projections! What are projections? How do they work? What are their gifts? And how can taking them back lead me to living my life purpose?

One of the most difficult concepts that I teach is projection. It is also the most juicy for me, because I am seeing the power in my awareness of when I am judging another person and how that judgment is really a projection of my light or my dark. Anytime I am judging someone as good or bad, I am in projection. Believe it or not, you are too! When you see someone that you dislike or are repulsed by and you say, “I’m NOT that!” you are in projection. We are automatic projection machines and our projections are one of the most damaging behaviors that keep us from expressing our life purpose. Oftentimes we automatically react to people and situations and it requires awareness to take back our projections and consciously choose our behaviors so that we can live our life purpose more fully. Let me give you an example.

My projection is: Inappropriately Abusive.

The situation–A woman shames her child in public and I watch–judging her inappropriately abusive behavior. I feel righteous in making her wrong for how she is treating another human being that she obviously has manipulative influence over–someone who depends on her for his care and sustenance.

The projection–I’m not inappropriately abusive. I would never talk to my child like that–at least not where anyone could hear or in that way. I can’t be with my inappropriately abusive quality so if I do talk to my daughter like that I might blame her for her behavior and make her wrong for what she has done to “make” me talk to her that way. If I can’t be with my inappropriately abusive quality then I will only be able to see the quality in others–not myself. What do qualities do you deny? Rude? Cold? Uncaring? Manipulative? Disgusting? Wounded? Cry Baby? (I’m all that!) To identify the qualities that you are projecting onto others, take a really honest look at who and what you are judging. You will find yourself saying, “I’m not that.” Maybe you will find yourself gossiping about the person you are judging. When you catch yourself, and you will catch yourself, look to see how you have exhibited this behavior (or could exhibit this behavior). See if you can say, “I am that.” I have only one requirement that you agree to before participating in this exercise of awareness: You may only be gentle with yourself with what you find. With this agreement, let me know what you discover about yourself. Read on, because I would only ask you to do this knowing that there are gifts attached to each discovery. Yummy gifts!

The gift–Every quality has a gift. Because I have pushed away the quality of inappropriately abusive, I have developed my compassionate quality. I am the most compassionate person you will meet. And all from shunning my inappropriately abusive quality. We will behave in ways that hide the quality that we are projecting onto others. I have had such judgment on inappropriately abusive, that I had to find a way to be in the world that would show everyone that I am not that. This is a wonderful thing. What are your gifts? What have you developed to show how wonderful you are. You are that! You are the generous and compassionate friend. You are the strong shoulder to lean on. You are the capable person everyone can count on. You are all that and, if you choose to look, you will find that these gifts were developed to hide the part of yourself that you can’t be with. But there is a little problem.

The cover up–If I can’t be with my inappropriately abusive qualities then I don’t have access to them when I need them. I am so busy trying to be nice and gentle so everyone will know how compassionate I am that when I really need its counterpart only nice can come out. Here is my personal example–I was in Santa Cruz, California with my 15 year old niece. She was wearing a bathing suit and a short cover up. We were at the beach and as we approached the car, a man walked up and looks at my niece and slurs out, “Niiice dresss!” He seemed to be on some kind of medication. He seemed to be lacking the social skills that would be appropriate around my niece. What “should” have been my response? I know…I know… Let me answer: “Get the $(%*^* away from my niece ^*%&^(#” Right? That would have been appropriate. Perfectly appropriately abusive. If you were there you would agree. Because I don’t have access to my inappropriately abusive qualities I responded…nicely…

Take the same qualities you are projecting and the gifts and see how you could have used the qualities that you don’t accept about yourself if you could be with that quality. It is surely a part of you. Don’t naysay until you give it a vulnerably honest good look; here’s why:

The damage–If I can’t be with inappropriately abusive then the quality will come out in ways that are unexpected. Maybe even going over the edge. Maybe I am inappropriately abusive to myself in my judgment of the above example. Maybe I fly off the handle at inopportune times…use your imagination. Can you see where those qualities that you don’t want blindside you and leave you feeling bad about who you are? Maybe even guilty and shameful?

How does this all fit with living your life purpose? When we unconsciously project onto others we are limiting our authentic expression. If I have access to all of my qualities then I can call on them in the moment they are necessary and I am left feeling empowered to live my purpose. Instead of being on automatic pilot, I can bring consciousness to my words, thoughts and actions. And in taking back my projections I gain access to my innate wholeness.

It’s freedom. It’s worth it. And guess what? There’s more. We project our light qualities as well. I’ll talk about that later, but for now let’s go to the dark side. What’s up for you?

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