Here’s A Quick Way To Live Your Life Purpose
June 24, 2008 by CK Reyes
Hi It looks like you are new here. Welcome! Please visit our First Time Here Page. and check out our :-.Divine Purpose Report. Thanks for visiting!
Take Back Your Projections! What are projections? How do they work? What are their gifts? And how can taking them back lead me to living my life purpose?
One of the most difficult concepts that I teach is projection. It is also the most juicy for me, because I am seeing the power in my awareness of when I am judging another person and how that judgment is really a projection of my light or my dark. Anytime I am judging someone as good or bad, I am in projection. Believe it or not, you are too! When you see someone that you dislike or are repulsed by and you say, “I’m NOT that!” you are in projection. We are automatic projection machines and our projections are one of the most damaging behaviors that keep us from expressing our life purpose. Oftentimes we automatically react to people and situations and it requires awareness to take back our projections and consciously choose our behaviors so that we can live our life purpose more fully. Let me give you an example.
My projection is: Inappropriately Abusive.
The situation–A woman shames her child in public and I watch–judging her inappropriately abusive behavior. I feel righteous in making her wrong for how she is treating another human being that she obviously has manipulative influence over–someone who depends on her for his care and sustenance.
The projection–I’m not inappropriately abusive. I would never talk to my child like that–at least not where anyone could hear or in that way. I can’t be with my inappropriately abusive quality so if I do talk to my daughter like that I might blame her for her behavior and make her wrong for what she has done to “make” me talk to her that way. If I can’t be with my inappropriately abusive quality then I will only be able to see the quality in others–not myself. What do qualities do you deny? Rude? Cold? Uncaring? Manipulative? Disgusting? Wounded? Cry Baby? (I’m all that!) To identify the qualities that you are projecting onto others, take a really honest look at who and what you are judging. You will find yourself saying, “I’m not that.” Maybe you will find yourself gossiping about the person you are judging. When you catch yourself, and you will catch yourself, look to see how you have exhibited this behavior (or could exhibit this behavior). See if you can say, “I am that.” I have only one requirement that you agree to before participating in this exercise of awareness: You may only be gentle with yourself with what you find. With this agreement, let me know what you discover about yourself. Read on, because I would only ask you to do this knowing that there are gifts attached to each discovery. Yummy gifts!
The gift–Every quality has a gift. Because I have pushed away the quality of inappropriately abusive, I have developed my compassionate quality. I am the most compassionate person you will meet. And all from shunning my inappropriately abusive quality. We will behave in ways that hide the quality that we are projecting onto others. I have had such judgment on inappropriately abusive, that I had to find a way to be in the world that would show everyone that I am not that. This is a wonderful thing. What are your gifts? What have you developed to show how wonderful you are. You are that! You are the generous and compassionate friend. You are the strong shoulder to lean on. You are the capable person everyone can count on. You are all that and, if you choose to look, you will find that these gifts were developed to hide the part of yourself that you can’t be with. But there is a little problem.
The cover up–If I can’t be with my inappropriately abusive qualities then I don’t have access to them when I need them. I am so busy trying to be nice and gentle so everyone will know how compassionate I am that when I really need its counterpart only nice can come out. Here is my personal example–I was in Santa Cruz, California with my 15 year old niece. She was wearing a bathing suit and a short cover up. We were at the beach and as we approached the car, a man walked up and looks at my niece and slurs out, “Niiice dresss!” He seemed to be on some kind of medication. He seemed to be lacking the social skills that would be appropriate around my niece. What “should” have been my response? I know…I know… Let me answer: “Get the $(%*^* away from my niece ^*%&^(#” Right? That would have been appropriate. Perfectly appropriately abusive. If you were there you would agree. Because I don’t have access to my inappropriately abusive qualities I responded…nicely…
Take the same qualities you are projecting and the gifts and see how you could have used the qualities that you don’t accept about yourself if you could be with that quality. It is surely a part of you. Don’t naysay until you give it a vulnerably honest good look; here’s why:
The damage–If I can’t be with inappropriately abusive then the quality will come out in ways that are unexpected. Maybe even going over the edge. Maybe I am inappropriately abusive to myself in my judgment of the above example. Maybe I fly off the handle at inopportune times…use your imagination. Can you see where those qualities that you don’t want blindside you and leave you feeling bad about who you are? Maybe even guilty and shameful?
How does this all fit with living your life purpose? When we unconsciously project onto others we are limiting our authentic expression. If I have access to all of my qualities then I can call on them in the moment they are necessary and I am left feeling empowered to live my purpose. Instead of being on automatic pilot, I can bring consciousness to my words, thoughts and actions. And in taking back my projections I gain access to my innate wholeness.
It’s freedom. It’s worth it. And guess what? There’s more. We project our light qualities as well. I’ll talk about that later, but for now let’s go to the dark side. What’s up for you?
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
View Michelle Vandepas's profile
The dark side is important to keep in the background - alive and well - in case you need it.
If a credit card raises your interest rate - your internet service goes up -
or in a case like yours where you have to warn someone to get lost.
Nicey nicey is nice. Would be great if everyone was like that.
Then, we could let go of our reserves!
Corinne Edwardss last blog post..THE GREEN CHAIR - and faith
CK, When someone tried to get me to do something, because I’d be good at it, or should, it is usually a projection. So when someone says, You should try that new art studio, I wonder if they want to. So, when I’m giving advice. its usually the same. The anger comes out in strange ways. Still figuring that one out.
I am reading your article more carefully.
So - the anger I may feel toward someone else could be a projection of the anger toward myself? Or guilt of my own?
This whole shadow theory is not something I am too familiar with - except from you.
I will look forward to more, CK.
You certainly make people think.
Corinne,
The anger you feel toward something is not toward yourself. It is the judgment that you have on the other person that is the projection.
So look at the qualities you judge in others.
What are they?
Let’s say you get angry that the person you are judging is immature. Look at how you have exhibited that quality of immature. Either now or in the past… Or a situation that you could exhibit that quality.
A really easy way to determine if you are projecting a quality onto another person is whether or not you are informed by it or affected by it. If you have not emotional reaction then you are simply informed, “Oh that person is immature.” However, if you are affected by it and possibly angry by their immaturity, then you are in projection.
Dow this help explain it? I will definitely be talking more on this topic.
Corinne, one other thing, if you are projecting your anger onto others, then that is yours. For example, “Look at how angry that person is.” Then look at what angry people are to you? Are the bad or wrong? Or are they unlovable?