Happy Mother’s Day from Yours Truly: Mother of The Year 2009!


I woke up this morning to find out that I had been named Mother of The Year for 2009!

Since I don’t watch television, I missed the broadcast.  But, I have a lot of friends and they all sent me the link.  Can you believe it?  CK Reyes, Mother of the year?  Maybe my role is my Life Purpose…  You can view the announcement and then you can brag that you know this years Mother of the Year selection! WooHoo!

Yes, I’m bad!  Yes, I’m good!  I didn’t know you could get nominated let alone selected unless you were a perfect mom, and I’m far from that.  I make mistakes and sometimes they’re not pretty.  Sometimes I take the biggest piece of cake or the yummiest looking macaroon.  I’m selfish and self-centered and I don’t like washing clothes or cooking on demand.  I left my son in California with his father and I complain every morning about driving my daughter to school.  She could walk three miles-couldn’t she?  Yes, I suck!  A good mother wouldn’t even think these things, let alone do them!  And here’s what my daughter has to say about me:

“They’re crazy, why did you get selected?”

Seriously, she thinks I rock.  Well, she’s sitting here while I’m writing and tells me she doesn’t quite agree about the “rock” piece.  But, she loves me anyway.

There are two days of my life that stand out above all others.

I’ll always remember the birth of my two children!  Burned forever in my memory are their faces right at birth, the first time I held them naked against my body, and how alert they were when we stared at each other in awe.  I don’t think I put either one of them down for a couple years.

I went to school with my son… for seven years!  I was room mother and had full-blown carnivals at my home.  I had theme birthday parties and invited everyone!  My door was always open for children in the neighborhood and we had fun!  I made sure that my kids had regular contact with family and did a lot of driving to make that happen.  I’m proud to say that I respect and honor and listen to my children.  I give them the space to be who they are and I don’t live my life through them.

I asked my daughter what she likes most about me, and here is what she said:

“Mom, I can tell you anything!”

That warms my heart, and I know it’s true because she does tell me everything.  She tells me things even if she knows she’ll get in trouble.  She tells me things and I “coach” her to work it out for herself.  Yes, I did a lot of things right, and still there’s probably more that I did wrong.  The key is to be gentle with myself when I notice the areas I fall short.

Be gentle with yourself!

Here’s another stab at The Shadow!  How do you hide your inequities?  or cover up your mistakes?  Where do you feel shame?  We all have it somewhere, and motherhood is a great place for our shadows to show up.  What kind of mother are you?  Who do you try to emulate?  Where do you fall short?  Who do you judge as a ‘bad’ mother?  What qualities do you push away from yourself?  Where do you judge yourself harshly?  Can you be gentle with yourself?  Please be gentle with yourself.

I coach people to be gentle with themselves everyday.  I guide people to forgiveness, and as I do, I always find a new level of forgiveness for myself.  Being gentle with ourselves is not about condoning behavior that we want or need to change, but it is about recognizing that we might need to do something different.  You can’t make changes  if you’re too busy sweeping “your bad” under the rug.  If you need help making a list of bad mom stuff, check out Mid Life Wife.  She has a list to get you started!

I could sit here and turn this recognition away because of all the ways I’ve failed at being a good mom.  I could beat myself up like a lot of us moms do for not measuring up, for letting our children down, and even for the mistakes that our children make in life.  And I have failed.  I’m a bad mom!

Two sides to everything!

As I accept the “bad mom” part of who I am, I make tons of room for “good mom” to show up!  And it shows up powerfully!  I live my Divine Purpose through this role of mother.  Last night my daughter and I drank Shirley Temples and watched Down The Rabbit Hole.  We bake cookies together and get lots of snuggle time.  I listen to my daughter.  When I make mistakes, I own up to them and sit my pride on the back burner.  Yes, I’m a good mom.  I humbly accept the honor and title of 2009 Mother of The Year!

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