Give Yourself the Gift of Support
January 5, 2008 by CK Reyes
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What happens internally when you think of asking for help?
Do you have a judgment that you are weak? Do you have the belief that you ’should’ be able to do it all by yourself? Do you compare yourself to those you think are doing it all themselves? Do you feel that you are not good enough if you can’t do it alone?
In this country we are “supported” in doing it all by ourselves. Doing it alone is one reason we don’t accomplish the things that we want to and eventually give up on our goals for life.
We don’t pursue our dreams with passion because we think we should have to get there all by ourselves. We don’t follow our purpose for life because we limit our opportunities to get us where we want to go.
Going it alone limits us and can lead to a life without passion. I am not saying that you cannot live a life of passion when you do it all yourself. I am asking you to take an honest look at your life and ask yourself how you could be living a grander version of yourself. Just for a moment, give up all judgment of ‘needing’ help and ask yourself what help you could use to manifest what you want this year. Ask!
Change the word “help” to “Support” and consider the following:
Who could support you to manifest your desires. What exactly do you need? What are the people supports you could give yourself? Do you need an accountant? or a plumber? or a spiritual life coach? Do you need a teacher? or a partner? or a personal assistant?
What structural supports could you give yourself? A calendar? or a computer? or a to-do-list?
After you know your purpose in life, and what you want to accomplish in 2008, identify all the support you need to make it happen, so that your goals for life don’t end up being just your goals for life!
If you would like some personal support to help you identify what your needs might be, I would be happy to HELP! (and check out the Divine Purpose Workshop coming up on January 18th.
What about you? How are you getting help and support for the New Year?
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
View Michelle Vandepas's profile
Hi welcome back,
you’re coming with a very nice design and nice article! =)
I’ve got a question…
Most of the time, I hesitated to ask for the fear of rejection.
Another reason, I don’t want to be looked as selfish, asking other to help me…
Please share your thoughts how can I overcome these?
Thanks,
Robert
When I feel afraid of rejection, I change my behavior so that I ‘think’ there is less chance of being rejected. I change who I am to fit into what I think will be accepted. When we behave in this way we are actually rejecting ourselves. And the ultimate question to ask in this situation is: Do I want to be accepted as myself or something I am not? If I want to be accepted as myself, I need to know that I will be rejected. Not everyone will like me. Not everyone will want what I have to offer. Not everyone will want to be my friend, etc. But those that do want what I have to offer or want to be around me or be my friend…want to be with me! Another important consideration is–Do I want to be with me? Do I like me? If I do then I don’t need to be in the fear of rejection because I am not rejecting myself.
Overcome? I think it is much deeper than overcoming. This is about integrating. This is about cultivating a relationship with yourself, so that you like yourself. Everything about yourself. Even those dark and ugly things about yourself that you don’t want anyone to know about. Those parts of yourself that you cover up and pretend aren’t there and that make you think that if they really knew me, they would reject me.
What do you not like about yourself? What are the shadows lurking that say I am not worthy? Maybe selfish is one of those shadows?
Selfish is a beautiful shadow. I could talk about it for a very long time. We are told that it is bad to be selfish. Don’t do that or someone will think you are selfish. Parents told us that we better not be selfish. Huh? It is not being selfish that is the problem. It is the judgment that we place on it. If you are selfish then you will be rejected. Who would want to be around you if you were selfish? That is the worst thing. One of them.
But I say be selfish. Look for the gift in selfish. Selfish is what will get you your dreams. Selfish is what will bring passion to your life. Selfish is what allows you to set healthy boundaries. Selfish is good. I don’t mean that in a bad way.
Again, we change our behavior when we think someone will think that we are selfish. So we limit ourselves. We let people take advantage of our time and energy and resources.
I say that the more we can embrace selfish, the more we have to share with the world. The more we embrace selfish, the more our generosity can shine.
This is an important article. Just changing the word help to “support” gives such relief!
Most of us are happy to help another and yet we deprive others ot the same good feeling.
Stumbled this. It needs to be read and provide comfort to many who are afraid to ask for help.
Yes Corinne, it is so easy to ‘help’ others. We consider the support we offer others as a good quality in us. Think about when someone says to you, “You are so supportive.” What a great feeling. Yes, I am supportive.
This year I need help with getting a regular exercise routine going and I’m going to ask for help. I will have a personal trainer hired by the end of the month. Why? because, I haven’t done it by myself and I deserve to be supported in taking care of my body.
What would it take for you to ‘go for it’ and give yourself ALL the support you need this year to have the life you want? Do you need ask for help? Then do it! Not because you are weak, but because you deserve it. What will you allow yourself to receive in the way of help this year?
I don’t think asking for help is shameful. Infact your heart becomes light when you share your sorrows with others and you feel relaxed.
Only thing is that for many they make it ego issue and feel ashame…don’t want to look fool in front of others. Those persons have to get rid of this attitude.
Otherwise catch your best friend to share your problems.
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