Follow Your Envy and Get a Clue on Your Divine Purpose
December 10, 2007
Are you envious?
I’m not talking about the kind of envy where you wish you owned that cool Prius. I’m talking about the kind of envy where you see a beautiful painting of an abstract flower and wish you had some talent. Any talent. And the mind takes over.
Pretty soon after looking at the painting for a few minutes you’ve decided that anyone could paint like that, a child could do it for heavens sake, and the artist isn’t that good anyway. You storm out of the gallery wondering how anyone so inept could possibly get their art shown in a gallery. All they did was slap on paint.
Oh wait, that’s not you? Yea, it’s me.
You know what? Envy thoughts have been clues to my Divine Purpose.
It was only a few years ago that I told everyone that I couldn’t paint, draw or create a thing - except maybe a business. I was good at that, after all I could use my mind! Every inch of my creativity went into my entrepreneurial ventures and I closed my heart to any other creative pursuits, because I wasn’t an artist.
From a business standpoint, it served me well. but I wasn’t happy. I’d go to a gallery or an art show, and be moved to tears. It would start with envy and move to trash talking the artist.
The envy was a clue to something deep inside myself that my heart wanted.
A few years later on a writing retreat, I was doing walking meditation and stumbled into a printmaking gallery. I had no idea what a printing press was, but I went in and asked if he taught.
“Yes. Come tomorrow.”
Tomorrow came and I stood outside the door crying. My heart and mind both were so scared that I almost didn’t go inside the door. I paced back and forth in my walking meditation trying to decide if I should enter.
The fear was real. I was paralyzed. It was a clue. This was important to my heart.
Yet when I did a whole new world opened up to me, and I became a printmaker.
How does this fit with Divine Purpose?
- I’ve found a level of creativity inside myself that I couldn’t access before.
- Now I use this for Class participants - They can find a safe place to explore their own creativity based upon my experiences.
- My life is fuller, rounder, more expressive.
- My mind trusts my heart at a new level.
- My heart and mind stay more connected.
- I’m happier, more generous and yes, artistic!
Need a clue to your own Divine Purpose? What are you envying today?
Written by Michelle Vandepas - Michelle is a writer, speaker, facilitator and radio talk show host. Contact Michelle directly using the contact page above, or leave a comment below.
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Great post, Michelle! It is interesting how we can get intensely jealous of the achievements of others. Like you, I used to be jealous of performing artists. Then I joined a band and started to play for live audiences and the envy vanished!
Thanks for sharing Maria, it is true we can follow the envy - and the point is, you don’t have to ‘do’ anything with it, I no longer am a printmaker, but it did serve a huge creative release for me. Thanks for coming by!
Michelle,
This is a great post. I live in Santa Fe, where art galleries abound. I’ve looked at some paintings and wondered if I could do better!
I’ve discovered passion for movement in the form of a very Yang style of Tai Chi and in a healing modality called Somatics (based on Feldenkrais’ work). I would never have thought I had passion for these two things if I didn’t step through the fear that seemed to drive me away.
Also, a month ago I quit my high paying job so I could live my real passion, sharing Math with the world! Odd passion but that’s my gift. I avoided this calling for many years and now I’m enjoying waking up every day, writing for my Math blog, making videos, learning about Internet marketing and having a more well-rounded life.
And, yes, Math is an art, and not just in the ways people usually see but that’s a different conversation.
The most fascinating thing for me about following my passion is that I worry much less about money than I used to, even though I’m not earning enough to pay my bills right now although that will change within a year.
I’m rambling. Thanks for getting me going
This article so resonated with me Michelle. like you I am a ‘logic oriented’ person who works well in the business field. I spent my whole life believing I didn’t have a creative bone in my body. I tried music and discovered that I had no flair for that. And I had accepted that creativity wasn’t part of ‘me’. That’s why I so love the scrapbooking hobby which has become a consuming passion. I love the creativity it brings out in me that I never believed i had.
Sol: I love Sante Fe, In fact I’ll be there in May. Maybe you could host a bloggers conference…he he he…..(I’m in Colorado Springs) I’ve just discovered your math blog and think you’ve nailed a great niche. Hats off to you! One of the things I notice about following our passions, is that once we do, it doesn’t matter so much if it takes the form of ‘work’ or not. sometimes it will, sometimes not. All ok.
Karen: I bet now that you are scrap booking you’re also finding other creative talents - lettering? Color - (yes I know you have that from a blog post of yours), style etc which can also be applied elsewhere. Once our creative juices flow - watch out!……
For anyone who is chasing their purpose or trying to discover their purpose in life, try going into your own creativity and see where it leads!
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Interesting post, I would rather say inspired by others, we seek to bring out the best in ourselves.
best,
Tejvan
Tejvan,
Good point, if we are conscious enough of our own thoughts, then indeed we can be inspired. If we are just envious, we can also use that as a clue.
Thanks for stopping by!
Michelle,
I wondered why utilizing my envy has never occurred to me. There are times when I ached physically to be in someone else’s shoes. Not to have what they have, but to do what they do. To see what it feels like with my own personal touch mixed in. I am certain the shaking fear you experienced is what has deterred any action.
My other hesitation is one I struggle with in most areas of my life. I am fascinated but it is not sustained, or more accurately, I cannot seem to sustain interest. It is difficult to know the difference between what is a passing fancy and what is going to finally stick around.
Now I have the envy tool in my bag. The next time I feel it pull at me, I’ll pay more attention and see where it takes me. Thank you.
Barbara,
Thanks for your honest open comment. For myself, I tend to jump in, run and try lots of new things as soon as I think of them…. They are often just whims or passing thoughts, that could have been better off left alone.
Here’s what I do now before I jump in….
I’m got dreams, goals and plans for my future. I make sure that my emotional self, (listen to this if you haven’t already: http://divinepurposeunleashed.com/manifest-money-podcast/ )
Then if my new idea lines up, I go for it. If the new idea seems to take me off course, I write it down for a possible idea in the future to follow.
Not everything pans out as expected, but often my new ideas lead me in a new direction.. As long as that is the direction I want to go I’m ok with that!
Part of it is a choice of course, CHOOSE what you want to do with your life.. After all, you can always change you mind….
Hi Michelle, I sincerely enjoyed your post - this is a topic that I’ve been asking for some guidance on from the Universe, so here are some things to ponder now…..thank you!
JoLynn Braley’s last blog post..Super Bowl Sunday - A Day of Gluttony 2nd Only To Thanksgiving
One more thing - very interesting, I just noticed that CommentLuv is displaying a post that I wrote months ago (my last post was yesterday)….I’ll have to research that and see why that is.
JoLynn Braley’s last blog post..Super Bowl Sunday - A Day of Gluttony 2nd Only To Thanksgiving