Do You Make This Huge Mistake?
May 12, 2008
Ordinarily, I would say that there are no mistakes.
And, to be totally honest this is true! Everything teaches you something, if you let it. Every choice is a walk on the path of your life that will lead you somewhere. Each choice you make will give you an experience. Some choices will leave you feeling happy and others will leave you feeling sad. Some choices create peace in your soul and others chaos. Are you happy with the direction that your choices are taking you? Are you in integrity with yourself and happy with the person you are? Are your choices leading you to living your life purpose?
Don’t be hard on yourself!
If you notice that you are not satisfied with the results of your choices and the direction your life is taking, please don’t add to the unrest by beating yourself up and being mean to yourself. Please use this awareness as an opportunity… An opportunity for new choices that do lead you where you want to go. I invite you to make a shift that will drastically alter how you interact with your life.
Start taking 100% responsibility for your life. All of it!
If you can make this shift in how you show up in your life, you will begin to make the changes you need to create a life you love, and for living your Divine Purpose. But first you need to see how you might not be taking responsibility, so you can identify the changes you need to make. Here are some common ways that people avoid taking responsibility for the direction of their life.
- Blame. Who or what do you blame for your circumstances? Do you blame your parents or your children? Do you blame your boss or your friend? Do you blame society or things that happened to you in the past? If you are thinking that you don’t blame anyone but yourself, write that down. Blaming yourself is blame. Get really clear on who or what you are blaming. Notice when you are blaming. Be gentle with yourself and just notice. If you notice that you are blaming, don’t blame yourself for blaming. Don’t make yourself wrong, just acknowledge where you are right now. If you are able to, change your words to reflect taking full responsibility. When you take responsibility you can powerfully make the choices that lead to creating what you do want for your life. It does not sound like this: “It’s all my fault–boohoo.” That is just more blame. It might sound like this: “Wow! Look at how powerful I am. Look what I created.” If you recognize that you created the very circumstances that cause you strife and unhappiness, you have the power to create what you do want. It may take a while to get this, but I promise it will be worth it!
- Making Excuses. What are your excuses for not having what you want or need? Get really brave here and tell yourself the truth. It will be worth it. Here are some to get you going: I don’t know how. I can’t. I don’t really deserve it. I slept in. etc., etc.. If you can see that your excuses are a form of self-sabotage, you can take your power back by taking responsibility for yourself. Instead of making an excuse, say out loud, “I choose not to….” or “I choose to…” Power is in choice. See if you can notice the difference in your body. How does it feel when you say, “I have to…” compared to, “I choose to…”
- Being out of integrity. Identify where you are out of integrity with yourself. Where does what you say and do not line up? Bring your actions and words into alignment with each other and the energy will open up for what you do want in your life.
What can you do to change the circumstances that you are not happy with in your life? Take 100% responsibility for the conditions, circumstances, and energy. I am asking you to have a shift in consciousness, a quantum leap of faith and direction in your life.
If you are thinking that you can’t do it or you tried to do it and failed, this is exactly where the shift needs to take place. It can only shift when you are in it, so be grateful if you are in it. This is where the ‘aha’ moments of life change your life forever. Take these suggestions for a week or so and see what happens…. And know that your situation probably won’t change in a week. It can, but if it doesn’t don’t give up. If you give up, that is just your old perspectives (your ego) trying to be right about you or your situation. Your ego will do anything to be right about what you are thinking. That is where the blame, excuses, and lack of integrity arise in the first place. Just be aware and gentle and kind to yourself.
How I made a small change that altered my life.
My son lives with his dad. I had been complaining about my 17 year-old son not having access to me by phone. I blamed his dad for not having a phone and for taking away the only access my son had to me. Boohoo! Poor me. In taking responsibility for my relationship with my son, it occurred to me that I didn’t have to wait for someone else to make sure I had access to my son, and I decided that I could get him a phone. Today, this seems so obvious, but when I was in the middle of it, all I could do is make everyone else responsible for giving me what I wanted. But when I shifted and took responsibility for creating an open line for my son and I, the world opened up. I told my son that having contact with him was important to me and that I would get him a phone. What surprised me most is that he went and got his own phone. We can call each other whenever we want and I no longer feel angry or resentful.
What have you noticed about taking responsibility? Have you had any ‘aha’ moments that changed your life? What suggestions do you have to facilitate this shift in consciousness? Please share….
Written by CK Reyes - CK is a Life Coach, Facilitator and Cheerleader of your Wildest Dreams! Contact CK from the tab above or leave your comment below.
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Hi, thanks for a very encouraging message. Recently I listened to a podcast from Leadership Moment. Inside, there is an interesting message on what makes a good decision maker. The answer really surprises me, “make bad decisions” And learn from it. That gives you a great decision maker. As you said, “Everything teaches you something, if you let it.”
Robert A. Henrus last blog post..No better mom than you…
Robert,
I have heard in the Native American language there is no word for mistake. I love the power that this gives us to live our lives fully. Doesn’t this perspective invite us into living more on purpose? To step into faith and know that we are being supported by the universe in our growth and this process we call life? I love it! I will check out the podcast…thanks!
[...] is a walk on the path of your life that will lead you somewhere. Each choice you make will give youhttp://divinepurposeunleashed.com/do-you-make-this-huge-mistake/An uprising of Junior Nation The Farmington Daily TimesWar has been declared. Not an international [...]
CK:
Taking responsibility for everything that’s happened to you, even the so-called “out of my control events” tends to put things in perspective. Good for you that you made a shift in regards to your son’s phone situation. Instead of waiting for someone else to do it for us, we do it ourselves and when that happens, you experience a shift. Awesome stuff.
Stephen Hopsons last blog post..Little White Lies We Tell Ourselves
I forgot to add that there is no such thing as a mistake. Everything that happens is merely an experience. Because we label things as the right or wrong way of doing things, we get bogged down in labels, more afraid to take a step forward because we “don’t want to make a mistake.”
The moment we decide that everything in life is just an experience with life lessons, perhaps we’d be less afraid to take steps forward.
Stephen: When we stand in our power, we realize that we can choose a perspective. You could have just as easily focused your attention on what you didn’t like about your speech or a variety of other circumstances surrounding the event. Our power is in our choice. We can choose the perspectives that leave us feeling good about ourselves or bad about ourselves. Since we are making it all up in our heads anyway, why not choose the thoughts and beliefs that empower us…. Thanks for your comment…
PS: What did you talk about in Vegas? I’d love to hear more, especially if what you are doing is living your purpose!
Taking responsibility feels really great when you finally do it, but while you’re in the middle of a less-than-perfect situation, it’s oh so much easier to blame everyone else. I was stuck in the same rut for years, blaming other people for my circumstances. It wasn’t until I started to take responsibility for creating a new life for myself that things actually started to change and I feel so much better about myself now.
One resource that’s really helped me is The Woman’s Field Guide To Exceptional Living by Corrie Woods. It showed up in my life right when I needed it, and it provided me with a powerful invitation to take responsibility for creating my own meaningful and exceptional life. I’m still searching for my life purpose, but it feels like it’s coming closer and closer now that I accept that only I am responsible for me.
[...] Exploration is risky, and you are bound to make mistakes here and there. Despite of the unfavorable result, we are actually able to take a better perspective on mistakes. Here is what CK Reyes from Divine Purpose Unleashed shared about mistakes… Ordinarily, I would say that there are no mistakes. And, to be totally honest this is true! Everything teaches you something, if you let it. Every choice is a walk on the path of your life that will lead you somewhere. Each choice you make will give you an experience. ~CK Reyes (Do you make this huge mistake?) [...]
It was about 10 years ago that I started going to a small Unity church and heard for the first time that I was responsible for everything that ever happened in my life. I didn’t like being told that I was responsible for the childhood abuse that happened to me. That made me really angry for awhile and still some part of me was open to the idea of being responsible for what happened in my life. It probably took me about a year to start to see what was being taught to me. I finally came to accept that my Higher Self set all of those events into being to teach me the lessons that I agreed to learn in this lifetime. I have also come to believe that all of the things that happen to me are a result of karma from past events that I have participated in. Some of that karma is wonderful and brings joy and excitement and some of it comes with challenges.
Both kinds of karma are blessings because of what I learn from them. Sometimes I forget this and just want to blame someone else for what is causing me to hurt. I am human and sometimes the ego wants me to forget that I am really in charge of my life, not that other person is making me unhappy. No one else can make me unhappy unless I allow them to.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkers last blog post..Blessed By Strong Women—Happy Mother’s Day
Patricia, I have found that by taking responsibility for our lives, we take back our power to create the life we want. I wouldn’t change any of the events that happened in my life, but I do admit that I have felt there were some I could do without. Debbie Ford talks about a recipe for life in her book, “The Secret of the Shadow” and I have been able to find the gifts in most everthing that happened to me.
My 14 year son made a “leadership” mistake at his school recently and was stripped of his leadership position. We were all devastated until we found out that he had volunteered the incriminating information on his own. We’ve now stopped focusing on “what everyone else thinks” and now thank God our son has intergrity in a tough situation.
Stephy,
This is all a matter of perspective. I love what you say that you “were all devastated until we found out that he had volunteered the incriminating information on his own.” Notice how that shifted your perspective. How proud you must be of your son. This is an opportunity for growth and closeness and learning or for separation. This is an experience your son (and you) have. How can it make you stronger as individuals and as a family? How can this bring you together and open up communication? If you were to stand completely in your faith, what are the possibilities as a result of this experience? See, if we are to look at this from a Divine perspective, we can be assured that there is something for everybody here. One way to handle this is to talk at your son. Another is to listen to your son. Maybe there are a hundred ways to handle this. Can you make a list of them all? Then choose one together that empowers you as a family and models the type of relationship you want with each other. Are you celebrating your sons integrity? Are you focusing on what is right about this event or on what is wrong with it? Your choice, right?
Thanks for sharing! How can I support you?